Fears

In the past weeks, I had thought a lot about fears. About how we manage them, about what is their purpose. How it is related to our inner animal. My thinking got me to an interesting way to look at fears. I'm pretty sure I didn't discover anything revolutionary but I think it's worth a post for me, and a read for you. 

First and foremost, what is fear? Well, it's a more difficult to answer question then it looks. You could enumerate an endless list of fears. You could tell it's a feeling when you feel threaten and you anticipate something awful. The actual definition is : "A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger". Quite frankly, I really don't like these definitions. Why? Because it implies that absolute danger create absolute fear and it also implies that what from any danger possible, there's any fear possible.  I think it's not true. For the record, some fear-related illnesses exist because people see dangers where there might not be. And I think it's almost the same whatever we decided it's an illness or not.

Thinking of fears, of my own fears, I came to a different conclusion. Fears are illusions. Nothing else. You probably know the famous Roosevelt's quote : "Only thing we have to fear is fear itself". Well I think it holds more wisdom than it looks. In our lives, we most of the time feel fear by anticipating consequences. For example, in particular situations at work our behaviors might be influenced by fear of facing consequences like being fired. So you might use more diplomacy with co-workers/bosses. When meeting a girl you might somehow be afraid to be rejected so your behavior might show less confidence. 

There's endless situations where the fear of consequences have influence on our behaviors and it all comes down to the same fear. Fear of loosing. From loosing your life to loosing a competition, fear exists because you're afraid that you might not win. That's why fear is an illusion. Because it's not real. When you feel fear, you haven't lost yet. It's only because you anticipate the consequences you want to avoid that you feel it. 

If you think "animal". Fear is more of a reflex. A mean of defense to survive. When a cat is frighten by a dog. It run away for the same reasons you won't tell your boss what you might think of him : the consequences. Fears are created and not real. Well fear of death might be the one fear you can't avoid because it's a core-animal mean of defense to survival. But it's still an illusion because it hasn't happened yet. 

OK I know what you might think. I'm really not telling you to go tell your boss you don't like him because you shouldn't fear the consequences because they're illusions. I think you should find some kind of balance. Understanding and identifying fears makes them less harmful. It helps you see what are the consequences the fears originate from and it gives you a chance to evaluate which consequences are worth taking a chance and which are not. 

Down the road, it's all about what you can win. Telling your boss he's a jerk gives you little. However asking an attractive girl out is worth taking a chance. Oh that's true, You might have to face the consequences of loosing, but until it happens, it's nothing else but illusion. So that's why fears are absurd. When evaluating consequences, you should be able most of the time to tell you this : I'll face the consequences when they will happen. 

So I guess, as a conclusion, the only danger you should be afraid of is death. Anything else are not dangers. They are consequences and you got to be the one who decide which consequences are worth taking the risk. Fears are illusions and you should see them as tools instead of walls.