For what I know about how our culture. It has a set of what's true and what's not along with a set of what's good and what's not. We apply this concept in our everyday life. It forges our thoughts and opinions. It's our base of judgement. It's the moral.
For some reasons, these sets are rarely questionned. I can't tell you why, I truly don't know.
I'll use, a true story as an example . It's about a girl who met a guy online. She chatted with the good-looking man and agreed to meet him for a date. When she met him, she found out he was bald. A complete turn-off. She didn't knew before because he was wearing a baseball cap on each pictures she saw prior to the encounter. So she excuses herself to the washroom, called a friend to ask for her to call her back in a few minutes asking for immediate help so she could dodge the rest of the date. The official reason given to the man in question was she needs to leave because her friend really needs a babysitter and couldn't find anyone else.
What does this story tell us? First. She lied to the man about the babysitting thing. Second. She was true to herself, she don't like bald man. But these are only what's on the surface. Beneth it, the real reason for her to behave like this is the level of truth.
Let me explain. Imagine we live in a world of absolute truthness. She would have met him, see that he's bald. Tell him she don't like it and leave. The man wouldn't be hurt in any way because he would say. It's true that I'm bald and it's true that she don't like it so no sweat.
Unfortunatly, we're not living in this world. In our world, in our culture, she needs to lie. She's forced to. We are all forced to. Why? Tadam! Yeah you figured where I was going. The anwser is the level of truth.
Alright. What's the level of truth? It's the degree of truthness we agreed to share in our culture. In the example, she lied because the man would be hurt if he'd know the truth. So it's better, not only for her, but also for him that she lied.
See, lying isn't that bad after all. But in our culture, to lie is considered bad. It is part of the set of bad things we never questionned.
But that's not all. The level of truth is more than that. It's about seeing these cultural sets of true/false good/bad things in a different way. Pushing your own level of truth to higher levels helps.
If you understood the moral of the story above. When you'll find out someone has been lying to you. You'll be able take it without feeling bad, which is great. Because your own level of truth is extended beyond the accepted one. You understand that lying isn't always a bad thing. It is sometimes very handy and clever to use it in our world of lies.
I'm not completely sold to your argument. I understand where you're going, but if I follow your example...well...I'm sorry to say it, that girl is pretty fucking shallow. In a world of absolute truth, she wouldn't have obfuscated her distaste for baldness and he would have never wore a cap on his online pics.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with her lie is her reasons. Yes, in a world where you have to hack from your personality to fit a given order in the greater social scheme, it's OK to lie. In a sense, it's a proof of truthness to yourself.
But a lie on such a shallow thing as baldness...THAT early in the dating process, I'm sorry, but that's pointing to an immature and shallow person, not ready for serious dating. Hey, I never liked curly hair before, but turns out the love of my life has the curliest hair I've ever seen. Why? Because I lived with it and learned to love it.
I agree with your point theoretically, but I ain't convinced about your example.
I understand your point about her being immature. For what it's worth, there's a lot of immature people. However, I don't see why it discredits my example. My point is, she's an hypocrite and a liar. Two things considered bad. But in a world of lies, she needs to be that way to be functionnal.
ReplyDeleteI didn't understand the "world of lies" fully. I don't perceive the world to be made out of lies exactly, but to be image-centered. It's not about the self, but the image-of-self you want to convey.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit like the "mixed martial arts lifestyle". You can't buy badassness, buying Tapout t-shirt, creatine and dippity-doo won't make you tougher. It will make you look like the tough guys on television, but you will never be tough.
It's confirming to the general image, but it's not the truth. The guy in your example tried to conform to an acceptable image by putting a cap, but he got it biting him in the ass at the end.
FOr the girl, I don't think anybody (the guy included) believed her excuse)
World of lies refers to our need to lie to be socially accepted and functionnal. How many hands I shaked that I didn't want to, people I smiled to or that've been kind to only because I need to. Like the way I do at my job. I can't say what I think to my bosses, It would be awkward. Lies are much more present in our lives than truth. The world of lies is in contradiction to the world of truth. This world of truth simply doesn't exist. It's ironnically a lie we all agreed to believe.
ReplyDeleteThink of every times you had to temper your opinions and/or thoughts only to not hurt someone you thought they would be if they knew what you really think. Would you rather lie or should I say bend the truth to manage their feelings or knowingly hurt them?
ReplyDeleteIt happens more than we think. That's part of the world of lies.