Self-esteem is almost in every motivation peptalk. It's always something people are told to build up in order to be successful. Basically, in our common sense, self-esteem is about feeling good about ourselves. Feeling we're able to achieve whatever we want. I'm not questionning this. I think it's pretty true. On the other hand, I've got a better explanation, a better way out. I can't find the exact quote but Churchill once said something like it's impossible until someone who doesn't know it is, do it. If you don't see the link between self-esteem and Churchill's quote, I'll explain you why I think there is one.
Self-esteem is, to me, overrated in the way people see it. To think there's something you can't do has more to do with failures than self-esteem does. In this case, like Churchill said, ignorance is a strenght. However, it's never that simple. I, myself, am someone who always overthink everything. I often ask myself too many questions and come up with to many anwsers that sometimes became walls between me and my goals. I think that's actually where self-esteem comes in to play. Because someone with high self-esteem will more often anwser his own questions with reasons why he can do it, than reasons why he can't.
Self-esteem is, to me, overrated in the way people see it. To think there's something you can't do has more to do with failures than self-esteem does. In this case, like Churchill said, ignorance is a strenght. However, it's never that simple. I, myself, am someone who always overthink everything. I often ask myself too many questions and come up with to many anwsers that sometimes became walls between me and my goals. I think that's actually where self-esteem comes in to play. Because someone with high self-esteem will more often anwser his own questions with reasons why he can do it, than reasons why he can't.
I think it's wrong to see self-esteem as one layer. It has many. For instance, I've got a high self-esteem when it comes to my work as a programmer and little with women. So how did that happen? Well, let's go back to my animal theory. It really explains a lot. As an animal, I'm in a competiton. In each layer where you'll find self-esteem, you'll find a competition.
Self-esteem is built on the way I compare myself to the competition. It is to know where you stand against it. How you see yourself winning or loosing. Applying the Churchill's quote, to ignore it is a strength. To understand this, can be a key to everyone in every aspect of someone's life.
You'll always be your worst enemy. All you have to focus on is to compete. Nothing else. Loosing or winning should become meaningless as long as you compete and as long as you find rewards in it. Because that's what we are : animals. If you can reconnect with this basic animal behavior, you'll find self-esteem overrated and eventually, you'll win more often.
Again, very interesting. Self-esteem is a concept that proliferated at the end of the seventies. It also became kind of empty. Psychologist started flooded the media with the assumption that kids with high self-esteem achieves better results. It's kind of like saying: "When you're drunk, you're more stupid" or "clothes keep you sheltered from the cold and ultimately, from jail".
ReplyDeletePeople started to nuture their kid with that very empty concept that they could do whatever they wanted, but without giving them the tools to do so. Like you explained to cleverly, it's all about animal competition. Kids must be dealt the tools to compete and win in order to have high self-esteem. Air-filled concepts will only lead to disenchantment and depression.
Very true !!!
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if today's sport psychologists use similar strategies to put athletes in a competitive mode. And if not. Can they enhance my thoughts about competition?
I know GSP is seeing a sport psychologist since he lost to Matt Serra. He doesn't talk much about it, but he said that he gave him the exercise to write Matt Serra's name on a brick and throw it in the river. To symbolically get rid of the weight Serra became for him.
ReplyDeleteI'm not too sure about how efficient sports psychology is though. I just think GSP is the kind of exceptional being that can fight adversity because he's enormously skilled and a balanced person on top of that.
For me genuine self esteem is more of an existential issue meaning when one is unaware of the nature of reality their self esteem suffers or they are very susceptible to what life throws at them affecting their self esteem. I doubt the buddha had low self esteem because he did not have an illusion of self.
ReplyDeleteSo you're saying if I don't have an illusion of myself, anything that could hurt my self-esteem would not ?
ReplyDeleteIt's sure is an interresting point. It would mean you get yourself out of any competition. Am I right ?