Introduction

Well, what can I say? Welcome to my blog. I guess this is the kind of speech that is appealing to the situation since this entry is the introduction to the shit I’ll be writing here. I hope you’ll like. Alright, enough with the formalities because it’s not quite what I want to write about. Actually, it’s the complete opposite. The way we learned to behave, in any situation, is not what I’m looking for and that’s really not what’s you’re going to get here. Well, let me stop you right now. I’m not going to tell you what’s good or what’s bad about the way we’re acting, thinking or judging based on what we decided as individuals and society to be. I will tell you what is. Humans are animals. Period. Beyond that, it’s pure invention or should I say, layers added over what’s real, over what we deeply are. With this blog, I’m taking you on a quest to find out who we are. Guess what, I know what you may think right now. Just another unknown asshole throwing shit on the web just trying to get some kind of attention from strangers to feel good about him. Well, it might be, but getting on this quest of finding who we are is the only thing we’ve been doing on this earth since we can remember. That’s what religions are for, that’s what science is for, that’s what culture is for and that’s what anything that is meant to be is for. And you know what? I truly believe we have failed so far so let’s keep trying shall we? That’s what this blog is all about.

So let’s get a start. Who am I? Well I don’t know. You tell me. Since I can’t answer precisely to this question, let’s try the other way around. Who I’m not. I’m pretty sure I’m not what I own. It can’t define me. I’m not my tastes, I’m not my opinions and I’m certainly not my hobbies. Why am I sure about this? Over the years, these has changed so it can’t be me. “Me” must be some kind of constant. If not, then how am I really sure to be different than others?

So what’s left? The choices. Things, tastes, opinions, hobbies, they changed over time because I made choices. These always appeared good at the exact time I made them and often bad afterwards. The 20 years old “me” made choices that the actual “me” would never ever made. I don’t really think it’s about growing or anything like that. Maybe a little, but mainly I think it’s more about influences. I don’t have the same influences that I had at the time so that's maybe why my choices would have been different if I had my actual influences. So where am I now? I’m afraid I'm nowhere near the answer  because these influences get  the choices I made away from a hypothetical “me” constant. So are influences the essence of “me”? Maybe it is. But I’d prefer to think it isn’t because it would mean I’m no one and everyone at the same time. I’m the small town I come from, I’m my friends, I’m my parents and I’m any response I had from any situations I’ve been in.

Doesn’t it make any sense to you that I’m some kind of a result from a complex mathematical expression of my life? Shouldn’t I be more authentic? Well some thinks it is. I don’t. Why is it so? Because at some point, I guess, as a society, we would have figured that out and made it better only because we could. Life isn’t always a party. If it would have anything to do with some equation, even if very complex, I hope we would have made the world some kind of paradise. It’s definitively not. It’s a jungle. It’s some kind of war in which guns are replaced by the animal competition. It takes us back to the things, tastes, opinions and hobbies I talked about. These are just tools I can take out of the toolbox of life to compete with others. To try winning the war we’re all involved in. The funny thing is we don’t really know why we’re in it. So this very question, "why am I in this war?", is bound to the question "who am I?" and that’s because I’m an animal. I guess we’ll need to go down that road of discovering what the animal in me is accounted for the actions I do in my day-to-day war and maybe I’ll find the answer to the question... or not.