Void like me

Lately, I spent a few eves feeling some kind of void inside me. I don't think it's despair nor depression. I don't feel it that way. Simply, I'm looking for some meaning in the things I do. Let me give you an example. I haven't play video games for 6 or 7 months now. In the past, I used to enjoy it. Since then, playing a game became meaningless. I know it's only entertainment, but I felt it gives me nothing else than wasting my time ( and my money ).

What's the point in spending many hours hitting buttons on a remote controler to watch characters shooting at targets to get further in the game? It's kind of useless. At that time, It wasn't as clear as today in my mind but what I felt about playing video games was the very same void I'm feeling right now. So I guess, I replaced video gaming by something else in order to fill that void. More recently I spent many hours watching tv series such as Dexter, Californication and The wire. What I'm trying to figure out is what are the things I could do that won't end up as meaningless to me, like tv series and video games?

Let me tell you, feeling that void is not really a good mood to be. For the record, getting drunk feels the same as playing video games or watching tv series. Sometimes, I think I'm looking for ice in the desert. If I'm considering myself as an animal, then the meaning of life, of my life should be raising kids, and working on having a secure environment for them, house, clothes, food whatever. It would be a start in explaining why I'm feeling the way I feel about meaningless things.

Because right now, I guess I'm not living like I'm supposed to be. I have no kids, no plans to have one in a near future. As a matter of fact, I'm single. I'm as far as I can be from having a kid. On top of that, I don't feel ready. So having no one else to take care except for myself, combined with the way life is these days, having a roof and a meal isn't what I may call challenging or something I could be proud of. I'm definitly ready for a change.